Mindful Meditation and Reflections

I used to blog almost daily, little thoughts and prompts I thought people would care about, but somewhere along the past 5 years I got busy.  That really icky busy, where we are so focused as mothers and wives and employees we don't really slow down enough for ourselves or our mental health.  I found myself frustrated at my children, obsessive over our debt (still a big mess for me to clean up later) and underappreciated by my partner (thankfully now addressing this issue in therapy ) and just overall letting my life fall apart while barely keeping my shit together.  

So, why am I posting this on the internet for everyone to read?  I don't really know, but I think maybe in my current expansion process I'm realizing I need to document this chaos for later, when I finally do get it all together, or maybe for someone who feels exactly the same way wondering how they can keep going.  I don't know maybe for my high school haters to find as fuel to their fire and know that I'm actually still a hot mess and maybe always will be.  regardless, I find reflection, free writing, intuitive drawing brings me peace.  So, here I am sharing.

I might have mentioned this before, but I recently started doing yoga again. I've always done the free lululemon yoga at the Biltmore, but when Husband started going back to school I knew I was going to have to supplement more income and that a weekend serving or barista position was going to be my best bet.  So, I sacrificed my Sunday mornings for the hustle, did I mention I've been busy?

Anyway, back to the yoga, since starting at a nearby yoga studio cleaning weekly for free classes, I've been taking 2-3 classes a week and filling my at home workouts with buti yoga, thanks to my tribe of oil loving ladies and awesome friend Michelle for bringing it back into my life.  I feel so great moving my body that I actually can go a full hour without the anxiety of real life setting in, those sweet releases from life and physical stress are found in movement and meditation. 

That's the point of yoga after all the breath and union of connecting with others in a sacred space.  Letting go of all the things that control us and just distracting our bodies enough that we can actually trick our brain into forgetting about the ego and allowing us to simply be.  It's a pretty powerful place to be and I'm grateful I've found a place there, in my own power. 

I'm going to make daily reflection part of my meditation process and hope to continue sharing more about growth and daily life here, hopefully a few of you will stick around to share it with, but either way, I'm happy to still have this space to write and reflect it's been an interesting process to see it transform and change with me over the past 8 years.