Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Respecting Time Part 1

Don't be Late.
The departure sign in Nice, France summer 2009
Ask me what my mood was, after running to the train station because Husband told me I needed to...

When you'e late, you're saying one of two things.
1. "My time is more important than your time." 
2. "I'm irresponsible."

Neither of these are good, and neither one makes anyone feel good or happy.

I understand that your house is a mess and you need to switch the laundry before you walk out the door, but guess what? I need to do those things too.  If I can't be somewhere when I said I would, because I'm too busy doing something else, I'm being disrespectful to you, and vice versa.  Everyone has too much to get done, the difference between someone being late and on time, is a person's ability to accept that those things can and will wait for them,  I on the other hand will not.

I have experienced this disrespect more than I can count.  It's something that haunts me from my childhood.  My mom was always the last one to dance class, so much so that I would be waiting 15-30 minutes after class, while the owner stayed, because the studio was closed for the night.  I love my mom and she's the nicest person, except when it comes to respecting your time.  She's always 45 minutes late to family gatherings.  And hours late leaving for road trips.  One of my biggest pet peeves is {one that word! and} when someone is late or makes me wait for them.  I know I'm not the most patient person in the world and you might think that since I'm used to waiting, I'd be over it.  But I'm not.  And if you want to upset me without really trying, all you have to do is be late.

The second issue with being late is poor time management.  After 26 years on this earth I know it will take me 20 minutes to get from here to there, and about an hour to get ready.  If you haven't figured this out for yourself and your own situations by now, you're irresponsible.

Do the math!  Make sure you can fit in everything, that you scheduled and if you can't, politely inform the other party when you can reschedule. I know that recently this inability to manage time has been classified as a disorder, but I think that's bull shit.  We all have clocks and we all run off internal timing.  We know that the sun rises and sets and we know things need to be done before or during that time.  We know when we need to eat and we know when we need to sleep.  Why is it so hard for some people to know when they need to leave or arrive?

Think about this the next time you're running late, and how much you're inconveniencing others, do you want them to think you're disrespectful? or irresponsible?  If you're late, they probably do.

So, be on time!


  1. This is a huge pet peeve of mine as well! Couldn't have said it any better.

  2. Being late is one of my biggest pet peeves as well. It is sad to say but people just aren't as concerned about being responsible or respectful and it is downright annoying.

  3. I agree...to an extent. It is frustrating and annoying. However, once Cupcake is a bit older, it may be easier to understand why some are late, especially moms. Trying to get one or more child to cooperate on your time schedule is not always possible. We deal with this on the majority of outings. One cooperates, the other doesn't. Sometimes neither cooperates. I used to get super mad when moms would be late to meetups, but now having older children, I've gained a lot of empathy. It's really not about being irresponsible or disrespectful, it has a lot more to do with trying to get everyone to cooperate without starting WW3. Just a consideration...

    1. I'm not talking about mom's with real reasons for being late, I'm talking about my mother and I'm sure others, who think that it's okay to show up hours late after saying they are on their way. I'm also self aware enough that Sonja (or in the future, multiple children) are going to make me take longer to leave, meaning I need to get up earlier and be ready earlier or make plans later. I do understand and am adjusting to this whole, takes me 15 minutes longer to walk out the door than I planned before, but how long is appropriate adjustment period? certainly not 26 years {my mom}.