June 21st, Summer Solstice. Our Anniversary. I know many people usually say something cliche, on dates like today, something like, "I don't know where the past 10 years went." but I do. I know exactly where they went...
They went to renting our first home together adopting a second dog together.
They went to moving back to Phoenix, and starting a new job.
They went to buying our first home.
And finding out we were pregnant.
They went to home birthing our first daughter.
They went to staying home with our baby while the other worked.
They went to a week in Kauai.
They went to finding out we were pregnant again.
And then having another home birth.
They went to going back to work.
They went towards fighting over house work and childcare.
They went towards a trip to Europe with two small children.
They went towards more work and more weekend getaways.
They went to over investing in cars.
They went towards more role shifts and housework and childcare.
They went to our daughter starting kindergarten.
They went to trips to Ireland.
They went towards family boundaries.
They went to more Camping and trips to Hawaii, again.
And Switzerland.
And Barcelona.
They went to our younger daughter starting preschool.
They went towards introspection and doubt and fear.
They went towards a new start with school and work.
They went towards growth and projects and shifts in beliefs.
They went towards rebuilding and recommitting.
So, yeah, if you reflect on all those moments and add them up, it's easy to see where they went. It's just when I think about all those things they seem like such a small blip on the timeline of life. They're part of our story, but they're not our story. With each sentence there was planning and coordinating, and sometimes fighting. And sometimes those were big fights. And sometimes forgiveness, and compassion and support. And sometimes taking care of each other when we were sick or things when they were broken. I think the thing that has got us though this long is that we really are each other's other halves (or twin flames was a new term I learned). We amplify each other, we are a mirror to our other half, and as frustrated as we get or hurt in rough times, to leave would be to leave ourselves. Our bullshit is still our bullshit together or apart. Our kids are our connection forever, no matter what we have to work together and resolve our issues, so we might as well do it together while enjoying each other. I don't know for sure we would have figured those details out without kids, and I definitely don't suggest having children if there is conflict, but in a unique way it's forced us to recognize our connection and motivated us to work some stuff we might not have had to otherwise. I'm so grateful for my family and our connection. I'm excited to celebrate with a fancy hotel and a bottle of champagne, a date night without kids, an extravagant meal and a fancy tub to relax in.
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